Fate Is Coming
by schokofroschlover
Summary: The trios sixth year starts. The war is approaching. Everything and everyone is changing, including our favourite bushy haired bookworm and slytherin prince. mostly hbp compliant, well the beginning at least. Dramione
1. Chapter 1

Sooo..after years of excessivly reading Dramione fanfictions, I finally decided to write one myself. So far it's not much, buuuut I'm working on it. I'm not really sure where this story will take me, but we'll see.

I'm actually not a native speaker in english which you will probably realize after a few sentences, but my english is quite good and I somehow don't like to write in german anymore, soo.. I'm writing in a language that isn't my own. Crazy!

Since this is my first fanfiction, I would love some constructive critism, so feel free to review ;)

I really wish I owned Harry Potter buuuut I dont. Sadly.

* * *

><p>Sixth year. Starting tomorrow.<p>

Wow. I mean, can time go by any faster? I still remember the moment I got my Hogwarts letter. How come, it's the night before my sixth year already?

Lying wide awake in my bed, I thought about all that has happened the previous years.

We've been through so much and still the dark times lay in front of us.

The war is coming and as the best friend of the famous Harry Potter and part of the `Golden Trio´ I'd be right in the middle of it.

Merlin, help us!

The anxiety that I've known for quite some time now, slowly crept up to me.

It has always been there, with all our adventures, but since the second rise of Volde-, I couldn't bring myself to even think the name! I've said it a few times but the days are getting darker and the fear is growing.

Anyways, since the second rise of You-Know-Who, this anxiety has become a much bigger part of my life. Always lurking in the back of my head, trying to get the best of me. I see it in the eyes of every person I meet. No one is save from it. It is everywhere. Especially since the massive Break-Out from Azkaban.

Everyone tries to hide it, tries to suppress it, but it's always there. Always.

But there is also hope. Hope that mostly lies on Harry.

How he can cope with the pressure is beyond me.

It's just so much everybody expects him to do. Sayve the world, fight against the greatest, dark wizard of our time.

Piece of cake!

It's not tat i don't believe in him. I do! He's always been great, but he is still sixteen. And still in school.

Warmth and love filled my body at the thought of Hogwarts. Tomorrow I'll finally get back to the safest place on earth. Not that I didn't feel save at the Burrow, but Hogwarts is Hogwarts.

A loud snore startled me.

Smiling I watched Ginny turn over in her bed. I should really try to get so sleep as well but I just couldn't stop my thoughts.

* * *

><p>Sunlight. Where is that coming from? Groaning I roll away from the light, trying to go back to sleep.<p>

Hah, so it seems I did get to sleep last night! Not much I'm afraid but hell, I'm not complaining. With war looming over us I'm happy for any second I can escape in dreams.

„Wake up, Honey!" , Mrs. Weasley's voice fully woke me up, „You need to get up now or we won't get to the station in time! Breakfast is ready in the kitchen!"

Slowly I sat up. The Burrow was abuzz with everyone trying to get ready in time.

As I walked in the kitchen, now fully dressed and a little more awake, I was greeted with a weird sight.

Everyone was ready and calmly eating their breakfast. No last-minute-packing, or hectic search for anything. So it actually did pay off to get everything ready last night.

I took my seat next to Ron, something steering inside my stomach. I tried not to think about it, but this happened every time I was around him.

After a nice breakfast we all got up and went outside, where the Ministry cars were already waiting.

The ride to the King's Cross station was rather short and we actually got there with some extra time.

I smiled at Mrs. Weasley with whom I thought of this schedule and she smiled warmly back at me. Why we never did it like this before, was beyond me.

Arriving at the platform, the Aurors tried to push us through the barrier between platforms nine and ten. They really weren't nice at all, but as long as they were there to protect us I wouldn't complain.

Harry seemed to think otherwise, as I saw him pull his arm out of the Aurors grasp and spat something at him.

So the pressure and lack of quiet and privacy DID get to him.

Well, he was in a bad mood since we got back from Diagon Alley and our little trip to Nocturn Alley.

How can he be that convinced that Malfoy was a Deatheater? He was bad, mean and overall not worth anything, sure. But a Deatheater? At sixteen? Yeah right.

But Harry insisted on his speculation, but it is absurd, isn't it?

Bidding everyone Goodbye, Ron and I had to make our way to the Perfects' compartment.

Aparrently we were the first to get there. Excited to be with Ron alone for a moment, I wanted to start a Conversation. But Ron just searched for a nice seat to slouch himself on and take out some of the food, Mrs. Weasley gave us for the ride.

Yeah, how these Butterflies get alive every time I'm near to HIM, is something I'll probably never understand.

„Sooo, Ron…", I was interrupted by the slam of the compartment door.

Turning around, I saw Malfoys standing in the doorway.

His blond hair was messy, his tie undone and he looked like he just got up.

This was not something you see often, though he had the reputation to fit this look.

Many girls were swooning over him, not me of course. But I could understand what all the fuzz was about. He wasn't bad looking. He filled out in all the right places the last few years, and you could see that it all was pure muscles underneath his uniform. Also his grey eyes held an intensity in them that could make a girl do anything. Though he only looked at me with his eyes filled with intense hatred. But I never look at him any different so we're even that way.

While I was analyzing him, a sneer came across his face.

„Like what you see, Granger?" He raised his eyebrow at me in the most arrogant way possible for mankind.

Well, there is this body, which I honestly have to say is pretty hot, but then there's this.

His personality.

„I was just wondering if I packed my insect spray. I really don't like cockroaches."

His sneer deepened and he opened his mouth to reply with what I assume to be some really bad words, though nothing original, but Ron spoke up.

His face as red as always when Malfoy was around.

„Why don't you just go to Azkaban, to your Daddy, where you belong?"

Malfoy's face darkened and I could almost feel the rage coming from him.

But before he could say anything more, the other perfects came in. A crowd had never stopped him before though, so I was rather taken aback.

Why would Malfoy stay under the radar?

The whistle blew and the train started its journey to the north.

The meeting was as boring as always, the only important thing was the schedule for the rounds.

I would have to do rounds with Ron every wednesday evening. I had hoped for an evening on the weekend but they were given to the seventh year perfects since that's the time most people are found out of bed.

The rest of the train ride was spent with Harry, Ron, Neville and Luna in another compartment. That was until Harry decided to go spy on Malfoy.

I was a little worried but have you ever tried to talk Harry out of something? It's just impossible.

Though when he didn't come back by the time the train came to a stop in Hogsmead, Harry still hadn't come back.

And he was nowhere to be found on the platform. I had a really bad feeling. What if something happened to him?

Malfoy had already left in one of the carriages and we were some of the last people on the platform.

Ron pulled me to the carriages, saying that Harry probably alreadys was at the feast and that we should get going or else all the good food would be gone.

Typical for him to only think of food, when his best friend was missing.

I gave in and followed everyone to the carriages, still worried and still looking for any sign of my other best friend.

When he wasn't at the Gryffindor table, I was ready to go back to the train and search every damn compartment!

Dumbledore had just started the feast and Ron was halfway through the first course, when suddenly the doors opened and a bloody Harry entered. He literally had blood all over his face!

He sat down between Ginny and me and wanted to start eating. What the hell!?

„WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!? I was worried sick! Why do you have blood all over yourself!?"

He looked confused. I shook my head, sometimes he really wasn't the fastest.

I cleaned up his face with a simple spell and then waited for him to tell me what happened.

At my expectant face, he only shook his head, signaling he would tell us later.

His eyes shot to the Slytherin table, landing on Malfoy who looked a little taken aback. What was that about?

But Harry didn't answer any questions. We ate mostly in silence and then listened to Dumbledores speech which as every year warned us to be careful and encouraged us to promote house unity.

He also announced a lot of new restrictions. This couldn't come as a surprise to anyone considering what was going on in the world, but there were still many people outraged at the new curfew.

* * *

><p>When we finally got to the common room, Harry, Ron and I sat down in a quiet corner listening to Harry tell us what happened to him on the train.<p>

„So Malfoy told the others that You-Know-Who had an assignment for him? But, Harry, don't you think he maybe just wanted to brag in front of his friends? I mean, he must've really sunk in their eyes since his father is in jail and all. Maybe he just…I don't know. But I still don't believe that You-Know-Who would make a sixteen-year-old a Deatheater."

„But we don't know what Voldemort would or wouldn't do! I'm positive that Malfoy is a Deatheater! He took his father's place!"

I really doubted this, but I didn't want Harry to get even more upset. With everything going on I had to cut him some slack.

„I don't know. I really can't imagine it to be true, but we really can't know. Let's just keep an eye on Malfoy the next few month. Maybe we will get to know anything." This seemed to calm Harry down a bit.

„Yeah. Let's just do that. But I will keep an really close eye on him." Of course, he wouldn't just let this go. But as long as he didn't get himself in danger it would be okay.

„We should go to bed. This year will be hard enough without all this war business. It's sixth year. There will be so much homework and you're Captain of the Quidditchteam, Harry. Why don't we try to focus on these things as long as we still can? War is coming anyway. And don't get me wrong, I want to be prepared! But we should wait for your first meeting with Dumbledore. See what that is all about."

Harry didn't look convinced but didn't protest either.

I hugged them both Goodnight, these dumb butterflies coming back when I embraced Ron.

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't we have a normal life?

I couldn't go to sleep for hours after that. All the other girls in my dorm were fast asleep. Snoring or talking in their sleep, all probably far away in some dream, but I lay awake for another night, contemplating Harry's obsession with the idea of Malfoy being a Deatheater.

What if he was right? What would that mean for Malfoy? I don't think that he would want this. Not at this age. And to be honest, he may be a foul, gruesome, little ferret, but I don't think he would have it in himself to kill or seriously harm someone. While thinking of dark marks, war and Malfoy I drifted into a light sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Just a little update. Please review? I really dont know if I suck at writing or if it is okay :D

chapter 2

The year started out as any other year before. After only a few days I was so deep into my schoolwork that I rarely thought of all the dark things happening outside Hogwarts' walls.

We read the ‚Daily Prophet' every morning but after that I always tried to forget about everything.

And with everything the teachers gave us to do, it wasn't as hard as one would think.

Between nonverbal spells, essays and essential stuff like eating and sleeping there was only little time left.

Harry had even less time, since his meetings with Dumbledore had started and Quidditch.

So naturally I got to ‚correct' all of their homework. Correct meant mostly do them in their case. Ron's case at least. He still thought of the free periods as spare time and didn't like to do any school stuff during them.

But the pressure did have one upside; Harry didn't get to dwell on Malfoy's behavior which even I had to admit was rather odd.

He didn't pick as many fights as before and was overall just less himself. Maybe he was growing up-finally-, but maybe it was something else entirely. Maybe Harry was right.

Why was I even thinking about this!? Looking at my watch I jumped. I had to get to the quidditch pitch! I promised Harry to support him. Grabbing my stuff from the library table, I hurriedly made my way through the castle. Taking some short-cuts here and there, not really looking where I was going. I didn't want to miss this really important moment for Harry. Though I didn't even like Quidditch all that much. It was nice enough to watch some of the matches throughout the year but then again I loved having almost the whole castle for myself. I loved how quiet it got in the always rather quiet library, loved how I could spread my books and notes in the whole common room.

But today I promised to watch Harry pick his team. Yeah…

I was racing down a long and empty corridor when I bumped into something, landing on my feet. Ouch!

I looked up and saw that I didn't bump into something but someONE.

„Ouch! Granger!?"

Nice, so out of all people I had to run into Malfoy. Literally. Great job!

Groaning I picked up my Bag and tried to get up. But of course my ankle hurt. I didn't need to look at Malfoy to know he was sneering right now. I could feel it.

„Could you please look where your going!? I have mudblood germs all over myself now!"

„EXCUSE ME!? Watch where I'M going!? You were here too! You should have seen me coming!"

In my rage I had stood up, not paying attention to the pain coming from my ankle.

But now that I was standing I could feel it very well. Perfect. I couldn't even walk away. Just perfect!

„Are you okay?"

My head snapped up at this question. .Hell.

Malfoy was looking right at me. And he didn't look disgusted.

„Yes, of course!"

„Then walk." Was he freaking kidding me!? Gritting my teeth I tried to take a step. Tried being the right word since I just couldn't.

I have fought against so much in my life, endured so much but I couldn't take just one little step right now without starting to cry. And I reeeeaally didn't want Malfoy of all people to see me cry. So I just stood there, avoiding his eyes.

„Here, let me help you." He took out his wand and waved it mutely.

Shock and fear first welled up in me, but were immediately replaced by a warmth in my ankle. The pain was gone.

Amazed I stared at Malfoy.

„Why did you…" , but before I could end my question he turned and just walked away.

* * *

><p>I was still deep in thought about this weird encounter when I finally arrived at the pitch. I apparently had missed a few minutes from the annoyed look on Harry's face.<p>

There were a lot of people on the pitch and sitting around me, which was really odd for a saturday morning. But Harry had always been famous and with what happened in the ministry leaking to the public, he got popular. Really popular. I have heard girls talk about him in the bathrooms and dorms. They were saying things you don't really want to hear about a best friend who is like a brother to you.

So I wasn't that surprised at the big audience. I might also have already used up all of my surprise for this day. Maybe.

Harry was yelling himself hoarse on the pitch trying to take control of the situation. Most people had indeed only come to see him.

I felt sorry for him since he was so happy to get captain in the first place.

Ron didnt seem to feel good as well. As time passed his face got greener and greener. his nervousness seemed to resurface. Well he was never known for his big ego.

When the time came for the competition for the keeper's position I almost couldn't see him on the grass anymore.

But he did play.. well, it was okay. But Cormac McLaggen clearly was the better choice.

I had to do something. If I didn't want Ron to be grumpy for the rest of the year, I had to take action.

Thank god I knew nonverbal spells right now. I put a confundus charm on McLaggen who then missed the next shot.

So Harry announced Ron as his keeper, though I almost didn't hear him due to some loud giggling from a few feet away from me.

Lavender and Parvati had been giggling more than ever this year, it was really annoying. Especially since I had to share a dorm room with them.

They've shown a lot of interest in the male part of the ‚Golden Trio' since the beginning of the year.

Jealousy rose in me. And I have never been a jealous kind of girl. Maybe because I have never been really interested in a guy. Not even in Krum.

But Lavender's constant talking about Ron got on my nerves. How dare she? Didn't she see that I liked him? And that he liked me back? I could feel the doubts come back.

I didn't know if he liked me. He's always sending out mixed signals and it was unsettling. I always knew everything. And everything I didn't I could always look up in some book.

But the things I didn't know started to become more and more. Questions were floating around in my head. War, Malfoy, Ron, school…How was I supposed to concentrate on anything!?

* * *

><p>I waited for Harry and Ron in front of the locker rooms, trying to think about something that wasn't complicated as hell.<p>

But of course that wasn't the easiest task. My mind wandered off to Malfoy again. Why was he nice to me? I mean apart from his usual insults. He helped me without getting anything in return. Well, I owed him now. He seemed so different today. He's seemed different for the last few weeks now. Since the beginning of the school year.

Harry would now say that this could only mean one thing. But wouldn't he be worse if he was a Deatheater?

I was so deep in my thought that I didn't notice that Harry and Ron were out of the locker room and ready to go.

„Hermione?" I jumped a little, startled.

„Oh, sorry guys. You all ready?"

The nodded looking at me worriedly.

„I'm fine. I was just thinking about this potions essay for Snape. I'm only halfway through it and it's due on Thursday." They nodded, rolling their eyes. How easy it was to fool them. Weren't they supposed to know me better than anyone? But I guess school work was just the right things to fool them with. Everyone knew I was a little crazy concerning my education.

„I hope Hagrid isn't too disappointed in us. „ I said as we were on our way to his hut. None of us had taken Care for magical creatures this year. And so had none of the others in our year. There were just so many really important subjects we had to take to get a job later on, no one could fit it into their schedule.

When we arrived in front of his hut, we halted for a second. Thinking about what we could say.

KNOCK KNOCK.

No answer.

Harry knocked again.

Still no response.

But Hagrid was home. The smoke from the chimney and the smell of tea clearly stated that the hut wasn't empty at all.

We could hear Fangs go crazy inside. Well at least he seemed to be happy we were here.

„HAGRID! Open up!" Harry tried talking now since knocking didn't go too well.

„HAGRID!"

Bang. The door flew open and a angry looking hagrid was standing in the doorway.

„What do you want?"

„Oh, Hagrid! We're so sorry we couldn't take your class! We really are but it was just impossible! It's hard enough to keep up without any more classes." I was near tears upon seeing Hagrid this mad at us. He's never been mad at us.

He seemed to see that we were telling the truth because his face softened a little.

„Well, come in. It's okay. I know that you have enough to do as it is. It's just not nice having no one in your class."

Relieved we followed him inside.

The afternoon was like any other Hagrid-afternoon. Tea, cookies (they were hard as rock, of course) and news from the school, the order and the Deatheaters.

When we got back to the common room in the evening I felt a lot lighter than this morning. Somehow Hagrid had given me hope that everything would be okay in the end. As long as we had us, You-Know-Who wouldn't stand a chance.

I briefly thought about telling Harry and Ron about my strange encounter with Malfoy right before I fell asleep but I decided against it. They would get overprotective if they had any reason to think that Malfoy was after me in any way.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3

I woke with a start. A nightmare. Again. I have been sleeping a lot better since my return to Hogwarts, but there were still enough nights I would lie awake, thoughts running through my head. Fear.

It was October already, the weather was getting worse with every day. The dark color of the sky matching everyones mood.

My thoughts went to Harry. He still hasn't had a meeting with Dumbledore. I was beginning to worry about what he wanted to show or teach Harry. It must be really important, but Dumbledore was barely here anymore. In fact, I hadn't seen him in weeks which was really odd. He usually was always there. But he probably had a lot of planning to do with the order.

I wish we could join the Order already! I mean we have seen more than most people, survived more than most people. I wish they could just tell us what is going on at least. and they could never stop us from fighting. This is our war as well!

I suddenly had to think of Malfoy. Did he want to fight? And if yes, for whom would he fight? Could he really have joined the Deatheaters?

He grew up believing everything he was taught by the pureblood society, he would probably always choose their side. But he must have seen what this hatred and violence eventually does to people. I cannot imagine anybody sympathizing with this kind of brutality. But his whole family does.

Argh, all this thinking was giving me a headache.

Slowly, not to wake anybody, I got up to get a little flask from my cupboard. A light sleeping potion would help me get bak to sleep.

At breakfast we got new bad news. There have been more deaths and a lot more people, mostly muggleborns, have gone missing.

I looked up to the teachers table.

„He never is here anymore!" So Harry has noticed at well.

„ I just wonder where he goes, what he does! I hate not getting any information!" He nods.

Eventually we got up and made our way to Snape's classroom. Defense against the dark Arts.

Despite everything that speaks against Snape, he was a good teacher. And in these times this was really… convenient. Harry didn't seem to think so, though.

His hatred for Snape was getting worse with every lesson. I still didn't know why they stopped the occlumency lessons last year, but it must have been bad.

I was so busy trying to keep Harry calm, helping Ron and doing my best to follow the lesson, I almost didn't notice Malfoy coming in late.

He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his eyes were bloodshot as if he had been crying, his whole appearance was just really unmalfoy-like.

My thoughts from last night came back to mind. What does all this mean?

I focused my attention on Malfoy for the remaining time of the lesson. he mostly kept to himself, he didn't mock anyone, didn't make jokes with his fellow Slytherins and he didn't answer when Blaise Zabini asked him something with a concerned look on his face.

This was all so strange!

When everything was piling out of the room and leaving the dungeons, Snape waved me to his desk.

After everyone had left, he looked at me.

„So, you have noticed the changes in Mr. Malfoy as well?" ,I simply nodded, not sure where this was going.

„Okay. The order wont be happy, but Dumbledore and I think it would be best if some student would keep an eye on him as well. We are really concerned about his situation. Since Potter already has a lot on his plate and Weasly …well, you seemed to be the best choice."

Nodding again.

„So, we need you to watch him closely. But without him realizing of course!"

„How should I do that? It's not like we run in the same circles here at Hogwarts."

Snapes famous' sneer broke out on his face.

„ Aren't you supposed to be the brightest witch of your age? We fully believe in you to figure out a way. For starters, we have arranged your perfects patrol to change. You will now patrol the halls every thursday evening with Mr. Malfoy. I have given pang Parkinson, who is usually patrolling with him, detention for thursday evenings, so we have a valid reason for the two of you to change the partners."

A lump formed in my throat. Patrolling at night, alone with Malfoy? Harry and Ron wont like this at all! Hell, I didn't like this!

„Okay. So, don't you think this could be a little … dangerous?"

Snape looked at me sternly. „We are convinced you will be smart enough not to provoke him and you are fully able to defend yourself. Or was Dumbledore's Army for nothing?"

I gulped. This cannot end well! But If Dumbledore wanted me to do this… Well, what's the worst that can happen? I didn't like to think of any answers to this questions.

„I will keep an eye on him as well, and if anything happens, you can always come to me or to any other order member. Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore. Though he is very busy these days."

„Where is he going? He is always never here anymore?"

„I dont think thats any of your business, Granger. Now go, you dont want your friends to suspect anything."

I looked up surprised at that. „I'm not supposed to tell Harry and Ron?"

„We decided it would be best to not burden them with anything more." And with that he disappeared in the back room of the classroom. Leaving me standing alone in the dark and cold dungeons.

Ugh, what was I supposed to do? I loved patrolling with Ron. It was the only alone-time we got.

And both boys would flip if they heard I would be alone with Malfoy.

I slowly made my way to the Great Hall for lunch.

I was still deep into thought, when I sat down next to the others. But no one seemed to notice. Everyone had their one things to worry about. I decided to tell them tonight and just enjoy the break right now.

That was until I heard yelling from in front of the Great Hall.

Pansy Parkinson and Malfoy were standing in perfect sight for everyone inside the hall, apparently having a fight.

Pansy looked like she might start to cry and Malfoy looked ready to kill someone.

„YOU DUMB COW! WHY DID YOU NEED TO GET YOURSELF INTO DETENTION!?"

Pansy seemed to try to calm him down with what she next said, but it didn't help.

„WELL, HAVE FUN WITH THE WEASE, YOU PROBABLY MATCH HIS INTELLIGENCE PRETTY WELL!"

OhOh. So he heard. And so did Ron. Shit!

I whipped my head around so fast it cracked.

„Right, I forgot to tell you. Snape asked me to switch with Pansy Parkinson. I will be patrolling with Malfoy the next few weeks."

Ron looked at me dumbly.

He squeezed out a cough before saying: „ You are kidding, right?"

I shook my head.

„You can't be serious! I wont let you patrol alone with the ferret!"

„Ron, It's not that bad. I can handle him."

At that Harry piped in. „Hermione, I need to agree with Ron. This isn't just anyone we're talking about. It's Malfoy. And … you know… what we talked about." He looked around paranoid. UGH.

„Yeah, Harry's right! He is dangerous and he hates you!"

„I'm well aware of that, thank you! But I don't think I have a choice. And anyway, he can't just kill me, right? Everyone would know it was him." I said it in a light, kidding voice, but Harry and Ron just looked at me as if I was stupid.

„We cannot know what he is capable of! You know his family, his connections! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" Yey, Harry was getting really mad now. And Ron's face was getting redder and redder with every word."

„Guys, it's OKAY! I. Can. Handle. It!"

„NO! I wont let you! That was supposed to be our time! I wont let them take that away! Not for a lousy Slytherin!" So he did think of it as ‚our' time as well? The butterflies started up again. But wait!-

„WONT LET ME!? Don't be ridiculous, Ron! I already said I would do it. It's really not that big a deal. I said I can handle it. And thats it. End of discussion! I know you just want to protect me but I'm a big girl!"

With that I got up and went over to Malfoy who was still arguing with Pansy.

When I stood right behind him, I coughed. Pansys eyes grew big and Malfoy turned around.

„We will have to meet at half past ten. I suggest we meet right here?"

I could see the wheels turning in his head.

„Sure, who wouldn't like to meet up with a little mudblood at night?"

He sneered down at me. Dammit, why did I have to be so short.

„Well, good. See you then."

He looked at me stunned, that his little insult didn't go as planned.

Well, it wasn't something I hadn't heard before. Though it still stung. Mudblood.

I hated this word!


	4. Chapter 4

authors note:

so I know there aren't many people reading this story, since it's not much yet I understand and don't hold grudges ;) but i'm really working now on making some progress on this. I know not much has happened yet but it will get better. And don't think Malfoy's gone soft, though it may appear so right now. He definitely hasn't ;) leave a review, please? :)

chapter 4

It was nine o'clock. And it was Thursday. I couldn't pry my eyes away from my small golden watch. A present for my sixteenth birthday from my parents. Oh, how I miss them sometimes. They didn't even really know what terrible things were happening right in front of them. Though even the Muggles were starting to notice that something was off.

I had twenty minutes left before I would have to leave to meet with Malfoy. Enough time to proofread my charms essay. But instead I'm sitting here, staring at my watch, not able to concentrate one bit.

Maybe Harry and Ron were right, maybe this was too much. But I couldn't let the order down, could I? This could be very important after all! And if Dumbledore thinks I could do this, well, then I guess I should start believing in myself as well.

I can do this, right? I can do this! I can!

Wow, I can't even convince myself. No wonder the boys are still mad at me. I wish I could just talk to them about this. But Ron wouldn't even look at me. I saw him get back to the common room after his patrols with Pansy last night. And he didn't look happy at all. He didn't even talk to Harry, just stormed off to the dormitories.

Ha! Malfoys is going to be at least ten times worse!

I looked over to my friends who were all sitting in the armchairs in front of the fireplace.

Ugh, Lavender was throwing herself at Ron again. She's been doing that a lot lately. And I hear her talking with Lavender about him. But whenever they'd see me near, they'd quiet down.

As if I didn't know what they were saying anyway. I mean, it's quite obvious that Lavender is into him. And apparently they don't really see me as a threat. Just a small inconvenience for their plan.

How I hate all this!

I was supposed to have spent some time with him alone last night! How can I make him see that we could be more than just friends, when we are always surrounded by people!?

This seems a little petty compared to everything else that's going on, but isn't the war taking away enough from us already? Shouldn't we try to do as many normal things as we can?

A quarter past nine. I should get going. Wouldn't want to make Malfoy mad by being late.

I arrived a few minutes early and stood around like a fool in front of the huge doors of the Great Hall. It was still early and there were a lot of students still floating around. Though they all seemed to be in a hurry to get back to their common rooms.

There has always been a curfew at Hogwarts. But since the second rise of You-Know-Who all the rules have become stricter. Not in that Umbridge-kind-of-way but to insure the safety of every student, certain rules had to be set. So curfew was now half past ten and not half past eleven as it used to be.

Dead on time Malfoys blond head appeared at the entrance to the dungeons. He slowly made his way over to me.

"You ready to go?" I simply nodded and in silence we started our patrols.

we only encountered few students out of bed, so time was going by really slow.

Malfoy hadn't adressed me at all since we started and I didn't know what to say.

This whole situation screamed awkward!

A few minutes to eleven, when our duty officially ended, Malfoy stopped. We were on the first floor and had just sent a few Ravenclaws to bed.

"I'll bring you to the Gryffindor Tower."

"WHAT!?" I couldn't even begin to comprehend what he had just said.

"You really don't need to! It's fine. Really!" What was he planning?

"Yeah, and have Weasel and The-Boy-Who-Just-Wont-Die kill me if something happens to you!? Right."

"This is Hogwarts. Safest place on earth, what on earth do you think could happen to me here? And since when do you care if Harry and Ron want to kill you? Anyway, you're not supposed to know where the Gryffindor Tower is!"

At that he just smirked, but this expression was soon replaced by a grim face.

"Maybe it's not as safe as you'd like to think. ", his smirk returned "I know very well where the tower is. Not all Gryffindor's hat us Slytherin as much as the say they do."

He winked at me. WINKED. What was wrong with him!? I knew his reputation very well and I knew that there were girls in Gryffindor that weren't resistant to his looks. But nevertheless.

This was all so strange!

Silent yet again we made our way up to the Tower.

Something was different about his whole demeanor. And what was that about Hogwarts not being as safe as we think? Did he know something? What if Harry was right and he was one of them. What if he had insider information about a plan to get inside Hogwarts?

Before I knew it we had reached the Fat Lady.

"Good night." With that he turned and disappeared into the shadows of the corridor. Okay, maybe I would have been a little worried to wander those halls alone at night. I felt a little grateful he accompanied me.

Sighing, I told the Fat Lady the password and climbed into the common room.

Harry and Ron were still up, still sitting in the armchairs, but alone now. The common room was almost empty already.

"FINALLY! You're back! How was it? Did he try anything?"

"Ron, calm down. Everything is fine. We didn't really talk and just did the patrols. It was really okay. He even accompanied me back here." Oh, I should not have said that. Harry's expression went from worried to wary to thoughtful.

And Ron just flipped.

"WHAT!? You can't be serious! You can't show the ferret where we live! Do you suddenly trust him? Is he your new best friend!? What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, but what!? I think YOU cannot be serious right now! I don't think any of those questions deserve an answer. And now excuse me, I'm tired. I'll go to bed."

I was already at the stairs when I heard Harry's voice.

"Hermione, Ron's right. That wasn't really smart of you. I know you don't believe what I think about the whole Malfoy thing, but just remember that he definitely is part of the side we are fighting against! We just don't know how active a part he is. I just want you to be careful around him! WE CAN'T TRUST HIM."

"I know. Good night."

How could I tell Harry that I was beginning to suspect the same as him. I mean, I wasn't sure at all what to think about all this! Something was off that much was sure.

But at least they were talking to me again. Maybe I could talk to Harry tomorrow about everything. Though he would probably don't believe me when I said that I didn't think Malfoy stood as firmly behind his beliefs anymore as he used to. Well, there goes another night to thinking. Great.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

The next day went by pretty uneventful. Malfoy seemed to almost be back to his usual self. Though he didn't seem to enjoy his snarky comments and torturing the younger students quite as much as he used to.

After dinner I went to my favorite place in the castle. The Library. Ron and Harry were off to Quidditch training so I had the evening to myself.

I sat down at my favorite table at the window with a beautiful view over the grounds.

Sighing, I took out my potion notes. I needed to get this essay for Snape ready. Of course he would be the only teacher to give us a three foot essay due monday when it was Hogsmead weekend.

I was actually really excited to get out of the castle and spend some time with the others without worrying about anything. It would be a great thing for everybody. I knew the professors were a little concerned about this weekend, but everyone knew that this was very much needed.

I started on my essay but after a few minutes I heard someone sit down on the other side of the table. Annoyed I looked up. It was Ginny.

It's funny how Ginny and I are really close all summer long or on christmas break but when we get back to school each of us has her own circle of friends, her own things to do, so we don't really spend much time together at Hogwarts. But I knew that when I had anything important I could always talk to her. I trusted her completely. So, when she sought me out in the library something must be important.

"Hey, Gin! What's wrong?" She grinned at me. "Am I not allowed to just miss you? maybe there is nothing wrong at all. Actually there isn't but I need to talk to you about something."

"Shoot!" This has made me curious. Well, it was probably about Harry again.

"You are going to Hogsmead with Harry and Ron tomorrow, aren't you?", without waiting for an answer she continued "Well, I thought maybe I could join you? You know I really just want to spend some time with Harry without everyone around and that way you would get to be alone with Ron." At that she winked. What's with everyone winking lately?

"Ginny, we talked about this. Of course you can join us, but don't you think you should just wait until Harry seems to change his mind? I don't want to be mean, I wish he would just see you as something else than Rons little sister, but I don't think he does. Not yet anyway. Maybe someday that will change but for now…?"

"I know. I just want to try one last time. I can't just do nothing."

"Okay. We want to leave just after breakfast. I don't think the boys will mind you coming with us."

"Great! I need to get to Qudidditch training now. Told Harry I'd be a little late because I forgot my Quidditch shoes."

I hadn't really noticed before that she was wearing her uniform. "Have fun. I need to get this done. See you tomorrow!"

She waved and then ran off. All these active people around me. It was a miracle it hadn't rubbed off on me. But I liked my books better.

"Ron stop eating. We want to get going!"

"Shut up, you are starting to sound just like mum!"

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do."

What a great way to start the day. After only a few minutes at breakfast Ginny and Ron were fighting. Ginny made a face, that would have made a mad Mrs. Weasley look like a teddy bear.

So Ron got up, took a slice of toast and mumbled something about being ready.

Only a few minutes later the fight was forgotten and we were having the best time on the way into the small town.

We were talking, laughing and just having a good time.

All morning we browsed through the little shops, buying a few things, meeting the other students.

Until we went to the three broomsticks for lunch. It was packed as always on Hogsmead weekends. We were happy to get a table to fit us all. Though Harry and Ginny didn't need that much space. Apparently Ginny had been right, Harry seemed to really enjoy her company. Much to Rons dismay. He threw angry glances at them every other minute.

I tried making conversation with him, but seeing Harry and Ginny cozying up in the corner of the table had gotten him in a foul mood. Great!

"What do they think they are doing!?"

"Ron, relax. They are just having a good time. They have always gotten along great."

"That's not getting along great! That's…That's… not right! That's what this is!"

Okay, he was really getting worked up about this.

"Hey… I know this might be weird for you to see, but don't you think they look really happy?"

"I don't care! I wont allow this!"

"You cannot tell them what to do, Ron."

Ohoh. Probably not so smart of me to say this. His face turned even redder and he was really angry now.

Right at this moment Lavender had to come up to our table.

Oblivious to anything going on at the table she asked to join us, since there was no other table free. Rons whole demeanor changed the instance she asked. He made room for her to sit between us. BETWEEN US. Sending me one more angry look, before starting to talk animatedly with her.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Lavender was flipping her hair and fluttering her eyelashes.

Wow, this was working out exactly as planned. I was watching the people around me while sitting between the two couples. Everyone was enjoying themselves. How was this fair?

I just wanted to be happy like the others. Why could't I have what they had?

I probably wasn't pretty or flirty enough. I was rarely having doubts like this about myself. I really wasn't vain. I knew I wasn't the prettiest one, though I also knew I could look pretty good. But I didn't want to be liked for shallow thinks like that. It felt great at the Yule Ball to surprise everyone. But I wouldn't want to go through all this trouble everyday. I wanted people to like me for me. My bookwormish, slightly awkward, know-it-all Self.

Was that so hard to find? I mean Ron did seem to like me as well. He's been darting glances at me a lot, looking away as soon as I catch him.

Time was going by way too slowly. After half an hour of sitting and watching without being adressed I stood.

"I'm going back to the castle."

No reaction. This was reaaaaally fun.

"Yeah, sure. I'm going alone. Why wouldn't I? I'm just a little mudblood, it's not like You-Know-Who and his friends are running around looking for people like me." Mumbling to myself, I made my way out of the Three Broomsticks.

It was still early and the street was filled with students.

I decided to go to Honeydukes to get a big bar of chocolate. The only thing that can help a girl that's feeling sorry for herself.

I tried to get inside the small shop, but it was too full. I had to wait a few minutes until some student got out.

Whenever you step into Honeydukes, you felt like you just entered a different world. It was bright and warm and OH! the smell! I slowly made my way over to the chocolate, careful not to run into any of the students scrimmaging through the shop.

While deciding which chocolate to get, the variety of different sorts was enormous, I noticed a familiar face pop up next to mine.

"Granger." Sneering. Of course.

"Malfoy." I was more bored. If he came here to annoy me, well, good luck. He probably couldn't make my day worse.

"Where are your little friends? Left you all alone? Found someone better?"

Leave it to Malfoy to hit the mark! Trying not to let show how right he was, I picked a chocolate and turned around so I was looking him directly in the eye.

"Maybe I didn't want to hang out with them anymore?" Wait, what did I just say? Ugh, great. I didn't even mean that. I just didn't want anyone to think that my friends didn't want me anymore. Because that was exactly how I felt right now. Malfoy did look rather surprised by my answer. So I wasn't the only one who noticed how strange that sounded.

"Well, I don't think someone of your… _kind__… _should be running around alone." Sneering again. How I hated this expression!

Without acknowledging his last remark I made my way to the counter and paid. Malfoy didn't follow me. Thank Merlin.

I went outside and started back to the castle, wondering where he had left his cronies Crabbe and Goyle. I hadn't seen him with them quite as often anymore.

Just when I turned around a corner on my way back to school I saw them. They were a few feet in front of me, having a debate about something.

I was just near enough to hear them. They apparently hadn't noticed me yet.

"We should go back and find Draco!"

"No. He obviously likes hanging out with Blaise and Theo nowadays. He's gotten really full of himself lately. Soince…you know…"

"I still think we shouldn't be doing this. We could get into trouble. And you know we can't allow that o happen. You know what's at stake. We NEED to make it through this year."

"We will. We will just have a little fun with the students that are too young to go to Hogsmead. It will be fi-…"

I sneezed. I freaking SNEEZED. What was wrong with me? Goyle had stopped talking the instant he saw me. A mischievous grin on his face he started making his way towards me. Where was my wand? Where was it!? I tried not to let them see me searching for it, which was rather unsuccessful.

"I don't think we have to go back to school anymore." Only inches from me they came to a halt. What would they do? And WHERE was my wand!? It had to be somewhere! Panic was setting in. I needed to find this damn wand!

"What should we do with you, little mudblood, huh? What would you like?"

I flinched away from Goyle as he tried to touch me.

"I would really like to know if your blood is real mud." Panic. I was openly digging through my purse now. Why did I have to take a big one today!? But the irony of them thinking my blood would be real mud was not lost on me.

"Sure. You know, if we ever loose to much blood we can just get a little dirt and water and we're ready to go!"

They didn't realize I was making fun of them. Good. I should probably not provoke them!

AH! FINALLY! There it was! I whipped out my wand and pointed it at them.  
>"Let me trough!" They didn't move.<p>

"You know I can hex you to oblivion! Now. Let. Me. Through!" The stepped to the side.

"Thank you very much."

"You will regret this!" I was sure I would, but that was not the problem right now. I hurried back to the castle without looking back once. I went straight to the dormitories, throwing myself on the bed.

That was just awful! Why did I have to leave alone. Malfoy warned me! Did he know?

Wait, he warned me!?

The adrenaline slowly left me and I started to cry. This was just all too much! My friends ignoring me, observing this strange Malfoy, the war and now this!

Why couldn't everything just be normal!?


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6

I heard the other girls coming in, chatting and giggling, happy with their day. Lavender and Parvati strangely didn't get back together, instead they both entered alone. Lavender had a smug grin on her face when she saw me already lying in bed.

"How was your day, Hermione?" She asked innocently. Getting back my composure, I sat up with a straight back, chin up.

"It was good. How was yours?" My voice matched hers perfectly. We had always gotten along. Not too well, she was too shallow for my liking but we never had a problem with each other. Not until now.

"Oh, it was quite amazing to be honest. When did you leave? I didn't even notice! Ron is just soo funny!"

"That's really nice, Lavender! I left pretty early, I wasn't feeling well."

Ugh! A triumphant smile broke out on her face.

"I hope you feel better now."

"I do. Thank you."  
>The other girls all stared at us, following our strange conversation. None of us was known to be this false. Well, maybe Lavender. I got up and walked over to my dresser. Wow. I looked like a mess. I didn't think it was this bad. Really nice of Lavender to provoke someone who obviously is already down. With a few hexes I got my hair to look at least its normal bushy self and washed my face to look even remotely normal. It was almost time for dinner. And I was dreading it. Ron was probably still mad at me, and Harry and Ginny were most likely still in their own little world. They actually fit perfectly together. A match made in heaven and I really was happy if it worked out between them. I really just wanted Harry to be happy and for him to have something other on his mind than the war.<p>

Slowly I made my way down to the Great Hall, always trying to stay near people. I was still scared after my run in with Crabbe and Goyle.

I sat down next to Neville on the Gryffindor-table. Neither Harry, nor Ron were at dinner. Neville and I spent the whole time making small talk. It was nice, but it wasn't the same. I just wanted to tell someone about what had happened. I needed to talk. To anybody. Ginny would immediately tell Harry about the Crabbe/Goyle thing and he would freak if he found out. I didn't need him to get himself into trouble. Ron wouldn't even care. He was way to stubborn to listen to a word I said right now. I realized again I really didn't have that many friends. I liked a lot of people here at school. All the Weasleys, Harry, Neville, and some other people I talked to sometimes, but I only trusted Harry, Ron and Ginny enough to open up about everything.

I sighed.

"What's wrong, Hermione? You have been down the whole time at dinner. Did you get into a fight with Harry and Ron? I didn't see them in the Great Hall." Neville was a lot more observant than I would have thought. He was so nice. Maybe I could just talk to him?

"Well, I did get into a fight with Ron. You know how he sometimes is. I think he might not be Harry's biggest fan right now as well. Harry and Ginny are starting to follow their feelings. And Ron doesn't really like it. I somehow got caught in the middle of everything today."

"I'm sorry. But it will probably be okay soon again, don't you think? You have fought so many times but you always make up after some time."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I shouldn't worry so much. Thanks for being there, Neville!"

"Anytime!"

We had arrived at the portrait of the fat Lady. A group of first and second class students was standing around in the corridor.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you inside?"

They just looked at me scared. Curiously I entered the common room and was shocked by the scene payed out to my eyes.

Ron and Ginny were standing in the middle of the room, both with red faces. Harry stood next to them looking uncomfortably around. And all around them a curious group of students had formed.

"You cannot decide who I like, Ron!"

"I wont let you behave like a whore with my friends!"

Dead silence followed. It was obvious that the fight had been going on for a little while already.

Ginny moved forward a step. Her face only inches away from Ron who looked a little intimidated by his little sister. But everyone would be. Ginny had mastered the Mrs. Weasley-face.

When she spoke again her voice was really calm.

"I behaved like a whore? Tell me Ron, when did I do such a thing?" Ron gulped.

"With him! All day. And the just before dinner!"

"You mean when we kissed!?" They kissed!? I smiled at Harry who grinned back sheepishly.

"I don't like my little sister making out in public!"

"Making out? Don't you think you are exaggerating a little? It was a small kiss. We were hardly making out. Just because you can't differ between a kiss and making out because the only kiss you ever got was from our aunt Muriel on your birthday. That really doesn't give you the right to judge me! You should be happy I'm with your best friend. You're acting like I made out with Malfoy or some other Slytherin bloke!" Ron's face turned white at that. I could see how embarrassed he was by Ginny's statement. But I didn't really feel sorry for him. Ginny was right. It wasn't his business.

"Do whatever you want. I don't care!" With that he left towards the dormitories and the crowd dissolved. I wanted to make my way over to Harry and Ginny but they disappeared out of the common room, probably going to one of the make out spots in the castle. Great. Ron was still mad and I was still alone. Maybe I should go talk to him. That could be my chance. But since I had taken Ginnys side earlier today he probably wouldn't want to see me right now.

I decided to take care of all this tomorrow and just go to sleep now. I didn't notice Lavender slip into the corridor to the boys dorms or otherwise I wouldn't have been able to sleep quite as well.

Everything went downhill from that day on. Harry hardly found time to spend with me, Ginny neither and Ron wouldn't talk to either of us. I spent most of my time alone or with Neville, but I was pretty lonely. I didn't even have fun doing schoolwork or reading in the library.

Thursday night came way too soon. I hadn't really spend much time observing Malfoy these past few days and I really wasn't looking forward to spending the whole night with him.

I arrived a few minutes early, but Malfoy was already waiting. Once again we started in silence.

Everything went as usual until we got to the astronomy tower. The number one make out spot of Hogwarts. We were still a little away from the stairs when we already heard giggling. A had a bad feeling in my gut when we made our way up the stairs. Malfoy was in front of me, so I couldn't really see what was happening when we entered the room, but Malfoy came to a really abrupt stop, making me stumble into him. I only saw red hair over Malfoys shoulder, but it was enough for me to make me realize what or whom we had found out after curfew.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the weasel and the Gryffindor slut. Perfect match. You know it is after curfew?"

I finally made my way around Malfoy. Ron looked at me like a ghost. His hair was standing up crazy and the first few buttons of his uniform were opened. Lavender didn't look much better. Tears sprang to my eyes, but I was too proud to let them fall.

"That would be 50 points from Gryffindor. Now get back to the Gryffindor tower!"

Ron looked at me completely baffled. Yeah, maybe, just maybe, I was overreacting a little but I didn't mind at that moment.

"You can't take point from another perfect, Hermoine!"

"I can if said perfect is breaking the rules. Now get out of here!"

Lavender tugged at Ron's hand and they left without even looking back. I felt my heart break into a million little pieces. Sinking to my knees the tears I had held back this whole time came running down my face.

Why would he do this? Was it just out of spite? Jealousy? But why her? She's pretty. But she's not the most intelligent. Not that I was. But she is particularly stupid. "But Ron is not that smart as well.", a small voice in my yea whispered. "But he is a good person!", "You would have been bored by him after only a day.", "No.". Great. I was having a debate with a voice in my head. I was losing my mind.

"Granger! Don't embarrass yourself!"

I had completely forgotten about Malfoy! Of course he had to see me like this. But despite being being humiliated I couldn't stop crying. I just stood up and silently weeping I made my way back through the door and down the stairs. Malfoy followed me without saying anything else.

We finished our patrols and Malfoy brought me back to the tower again. I was secretly glad I didn't have to go alone, I was still shaken by the incident with Crabbe and Goyle.

When we had almost reached the Fat Lady a question popped to my mind.

"What did you mean: Gryffindor Slut?"

Malfoy looked down to me as if he had forgotten I was still there. He cleared his throat.

"Well, she's been getting around."

"How would you know?"

"She didn't just stick to her own house, Granger. I've heard a lot about her in the Slytherin common room. She even tried with me."

"Tried?" A smirk crossed his face.

"That's the thing you pick up from what I just said?" I blushed. I was glad the corridor was dim.

"You can do better, you know?", WHAT did I just hear!?

"Even for a mudblood. Weasley is a disgrace to the pureblood race. There aren't many people more stupid then him."

That was almost nice. Weren't it for the mudblood.

My eyes wandered up towards his. He looked at me sincerely.

"Ehm…Thanks?" And he smirked again.

"We're not friends, Granger. just thought I should tell you the facts." He winked and disappeared.

Okay…that was a really strange night. Wiping away the remaining tears and straightening my back, I climbed through the portrait hole.

Ron and Lavender were sitting in a love chair at the fireplace, looking really cozy.

Harry and Ginny were at the opposite of the room. Grim expressions on their face. Apparently they had noticed Hogwarts' newest couple as well.

I made my way over to them, hoping they wouldn't notice that I had cried.

When Harry saw me approaching he shoved Ginny with his elbow and pointed to me with his head. Ginny's face immediately changed to a worried expression.

"Hey." Her voice was soft.

"Hey." Mine was hoarse when I answered her.

"Soo.. You've seen it?"

"Malfoy and I surprised them in the astronomy tower."

"I'm so sorry, Mione. It's all our fault."

"It's not your fault. He's just… It's his choice."

"It's his loss." That was the first thing Harry had said.

"Well, he couldn't have known that I liked him."

"He knew. We had just talked about it last week. He wasn't completely sure, but he had suspected it." I looked at Harry flabbergasted.

"Then he is just an asshole!" Ginny's face grew angry. "I'm gonna go over there and kick his bloody ass!"

"Don't. It's not worth it. I just want to forget about all of this. This night has been bad enough already. Let's not talk about this any more, please."

"Fine. I'm really sorry. He just makes me mad. If mom knew…"

"But she doesn't. And it's really not her business. As long as he's happy. There are other blokes at Hogwarts, aren't there?" They looked at me unconvinced. Heck, I didn't even convince myself.

"Yeaaah. You'll find someone better! You deserve a lot better. He's my brother and I love him, but he really isn't the brightest if he let's someone like you slip through his fingers!"

I had to smile. I had missed talks like this the past few days.

"Thanks, Ginny. I think I'll just go to bed. Good night."

"Good night! Don't think about it anymore! We love you, Mione."

"I love you, too. Night."

And with that I went up to the dormitories for yet another sleepless night.

Wasn't everything just wonderful?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

This night went as most of my other nights. When the sun started to come up I decided to get up. Sleep wasn't coming anyway. Quietly I made my way to the library. The castle was completely still. Everyone was still sleeping. How I envied them. But here I was, six in the morning on a Sunday.

I finally arrived at my favorite table in the far back of the library.

I got out my parchment and quill and started looking through the shelves for books that could help me with my Transfiguration essay.

I heard a loud thud and a muffled curse. Immediately I drew out my wand, making my way slowly to where the noises were coming from. My heart was beating so hard I feared it would give me away.

I rounded the corner to peek into the next aisle and was surprised to see Malfoy standing there, picking up books from the floor.

But was I really surprised? He was everywhere I was. Was ist fate that let us cross our paths or was it the Order's instruction that made me seek him out subconsciously.

I lowered my wand.

"What are you doing here so early?" There was no malice or mockery in my tone. I was so tired of fighting with everyone, I didn't need to get in a fight with someone who was as dangerous. Granted, he hadn't done anything to me in quite some time.

Apparently he had not heard me before, because he whipped around, looking startled.

"Granger." He looked me straight in the eye, I could see him ponder his next action.

"I'm doing some research. As I think you are doing as well." He answered calmly.

"Couldn't sleep?" Why was I asking that? It was obvious.

He shook his head.

"Me neither." My voice was not much more than a breath now, but he still heard me.

I only now noticed that we had gotten closer. Very close. I stood before him, not even an armlenght between us, still looking in his eyes.

He looked more tired than I had ever seen him before. My hand twitched. What was I doing?

I abruptly turned around. "Try not to make so much noise!"

What was wrong with me? My head was spinning. What was he doing?

I couldn't get his piercing grey orbs out of my mind.

My concentration was gone. I tried reading the book I had found, but to no avail.

Soon after the first few students started filling the library and I slowly calmed down.

A few hours later I felt myself get hungry. I packed my things and started towards the great hall. I dreaded seeing Ron and Lavender.

I thought about going to the kitchen to ask the house elves to fix me some lunch, but I didn't want to look like a coward. So I straightened my shoulders and went into the hall, to our table and sat down next to Dean Thomas.

Apparently most of the others had already had lunch and were spending the rather warm autumn day outside.

But not Ron. Just when I had loaded my plate with my favorite pasta dish, he entered.

When his eyes fell on me his expression darkened. But he came over anyways. Even sat down next to us.

"Good morning, Ronald." I said cautiously. He only glared ad me. Great, my appetite was gone.

He didn't seem to have the same problem, he loaded his plate up with wo much food, you would think he was starving. Well, maybe he was from all he did with Lavender.

Now I felt sick. I put my fork down and stood.

"I don't really know why you are so angry at me but we've been friends for so long. Do you really want to end that now?" I almost didn't recognize my own voice. I sounded so weak.

Ron still didn't look at me. Dean on the other hand send me a pitiful look.

I grabbed my bag and went outside where I could see Harry, Luna, Neville and Ginny sitting at the lake, laughing.

I didn't really feel like joining them and made my way in the other direction.

Sadness and loneliness rushed over me. I had really hoped I could spent these last month before the war being at least a little happy.

Sitting down in the sun I finished my remaining homework and just tried to relax a little until the sun went down.

It was time for dinner, but I still felt to unwell to eat. But I was famished.

The next few days went by uneventful. I didn't feel like being with the others, didn't really feel like eating, didn't really feel like anything. I just wanted everything to go back to how it was, I was so tired. Ron still ignored me and I started to wonder what I ever saw in him.

Harry was busy with Ginny and his meetings with Dumbledore. We still hadn't figured out what the Headmaster intended with showing Harry these memories but who ever knew what the old man had planned.

On Thursday afternoon I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so far ahead in every class, there was nothing I could do, my friends had stopped trying to get me to cheer up and I just sat at a window in the library looking over the grounds, contemplating how to go on.

I felt completely numb. Not even sad anymore. Just numb.

That's how Malfoy found me that evening.

"What are you doing!? We were supposed to meet had an hour ago!" He looked at me angry.

"Is ist already time?" I hadn't realized it had gotten dark outside.

"Would I be standing here, after searching for you, if it wasn't?" He had a point.

Sighing I got up. "Let's go."

He looked at me curiously.

"What is wrong with you?"

I didn't feel like talking so I just went past him, towards the libraries exit.

But he took my arm and stopped me.

"Hey! I'm talking to you! You look like a ghost! You will scare everyone we see to death!"

I looked at him for the first time today. How come he looked worse every time I saw him? Well, I suppose it was the same with me.

"I'm okay. Could you please let me go so we can get this over with?"

His look got concerned, but he let go off my arm.

"Okay." He sounded as resigned as me.

Quietly we started our rounds, not seeing anyone on our way through the dark corridors of the castle.

"Crabbe and Goyle told me what happened." He broke the silence.

I looked up, alarmed at his words!

"It's okay, I told them to not harm anyone. Can't have two dumb fucks like them running around the castle. They would probably get themselves caught and put in detention for the rest of the year. Or worse."

I was at a loss for words. How was he the same person that had tormented me for years?

"Thank you…I guess."

"Your welcome." His trademark smirk resurfaced. Good, this was something I knew. This new Malfoy was almost creepy.

The rest of the rounds were done in silence again, until we stood in front of the tower again.

I felt so comfortable with him, I hadn't felt this good in some time.

I cleared my throat.

"Thank you again. I really appreciate you talking to them."

He came a step closer.

"No problem, I just don't want any more people to get hurt."

I locked my eyes with his, trying to see if he was genuine. I couldn't find anything in his eyes to make me doubt his words. I scooted even closer to him. Wha did I feel so safe with him? We hate each other!

Only a few inches separated our faces.

He slowly took my hands and laced his fingers through mine.

What was this? He lowered his head and I begged him silently not to stop. He seemed to sense my wish and closed the last few centimeters between us.

I felt his lips on mine. Soft. His hands went to my waist, mine to his neck.

This felt so good, so save, I never wanted it to stop.

He slowly parted my lips with his tongue and discovered my mouth even slower.

Merlin, I had never been kissed like that!

After a much too short time he backed away, looking at me incredulously.

"What are we doing?" I sounded hoarse, my voice barely above a whisper, but it still ended the moment.

He detached himself from me, stepped back and looked at me with hard eyes.

"Good night, Granger." And with that he disappeared into the shadows.


	8. Chapter 8

Okay, so before I begin this chapter I wanted to explain a few things :D

I started this story some time ago, with the intention to finish it within a few month. Buuuut I didn't. I have a plan for this story and this is still the beginnning..I know where I want this story to go, it's just not as easy to get there as I had thought.. Also, I am no writer, so yeah…It all takes a little time. But today I was in the mood to continue this… I don't really know if anyone even reads or likes what I am writing buuuuut that's not even really the point for me.

I don't really know how to explain this, but I have this story in my head and I want to put it out there. And I tell you, in my head it's a pretty good story, probably wont be as good at all as what I'm producing here right now.

I don't have a beta, so please don't hate me for all my mistakes, I try to read it over a few times, but I know there are still a lot of mistakes that escape my eyes. I'm really sorry for that, working on it, I promise.

So without further ado, I present to you chapter 8 of this romance.

Chapter 8

I entered the common room, only to find it completely empty.

Well, at least I thought so.

Relieved I made my way to my favorite armchair by the fire. Good, I would be able to think about what had happened. Did it really happen? Did Draco Malfoy, of all people, kiss me? And why did I like it?

I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice the person sitting in the chair.

"Hey, Mione." I looked up, startled.

"Ron." Great, what did he want? I felt the guilt about what had just happened outside this tower creep up on me. Why does he even talk to me?

"I've wanted to talk to you." He cleared his throat and looked down at his hands. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what has gotten into me. I don't even know why I was so angry at you. I am so so sorry."

He had to be kidding! Why now?

"It's okay I guess…." How was I supposed to react to something like that? He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes for the first time in weeks.

"Really?"

I sighed and sat down.

"Well…No. But it will be. You can't expect to be forgiven with just a simple sorry. You really hurt me and with no reason."

He looked uncomfortable. Good.

"I know I treated you like shit. I just…I felt like everyone was expecting me to make a move on you. My mom is always asking about you, Ginny, Harry, everyone. And I couldn't get myself to do so. There were times when I thought that I liked you. I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have, but I want to be honest with you. I love you. Of course, I do. But I think I only love you as a friend. A best friend at that." He smiled at me sadly.

I sighed again. What was I to make of this?

"You should have talked to me. Thinking back on everything now, I think I might have felt a little similar. Though I only now can see that." After the best kiss of my life apparently. "I've had a crush on you for so long. But it probably was just that. Childish infatuation. I just wish we had both handled this better. I don't know if I will be able to go back to the way it was."

He nodded, obviously thinking hard about how to get over this.

"Okay. I don't want you to just forget about everything, but I hope we can at least be friendly again? I will definitely try. You know how much I care about you, don't you?" His eyes were pleading.

Another sigh. "Yes, Ronald. But I need you to promise me not to abandon me like this again. No matter what it is, we should be able to talk about it."

I was such a hypocrite. I could never tell anyone about the thing with Malfoy. Ron the least.

"I promise."

I nodded and got up.

"I'm beat. Good night, Ron."

"NIght, Mione."

—

I actually managed to sleep through the night for the first time since summer. However I managed that was a miracle to me, since Malfoy wouldn't leave my mind before I went to sleep.

But Friday morning came and I felt rested. Hurriedly I got dressed and made my way to breakfast.

I didn't see anyone in the common room or on my way to the great hall, but when I entered they were all sitting at the table, obviously enjoying themselves. Ginny and Neville were laughing at Ron who was trying to get Lavender to stop feeding him, Harry tried not to but I could see the grin beneath his mask.

A smile tugged at my lips. Merlin, when had I last smiled? Or laughed? I couldn't remember.

Walking towards my friends, I glanced over to the Slytherin table. My eyes instantly fell on those of Malfoy. HIs grey ones boring into mine. I felt the blush creep up my cheeks. Bullocks. I glared at him but he only answered with his smirk. I rolled my eyes and sat down.

What had that been? I was definitely going mad here.

"Good morning." I greeted everyone. They looked relieved to see me being back to my normal self.

Well, I was glad I was feeling better,too.

"Have you heard that they decided to let us go to Hogsmead tomorrow again?" Harry asked happily. I hadn't so I just shook my head.

"Yeah, apparently Dumbledore thought we should enjoy ourselves as much as we could before everything gets worse. They have found a few of the missing muggels. All dead. Tortured to death." His face turned grim at that. "I just wish I knew what Dumbledores plan is. But at least we have our next meeting on Sunday." He had whispered the last part, so only I could hear. I nodded.

"He will tell you when he thinks the time is right. Remember he is the greatest wizard of our time."

I tried to reassure him. Though I wasn't as sure as I might sound.

Harry seemed to feel a bit better, though. "You are right." And with that he dove into a conversation about Quidditch training with the other guys and Ginny.

Lavender didn't seem to care about the topic much, but she didn't even acknowledged me either. So my eyes went back to search for the grey ones I had looked into earlier. But Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. Apparently he was always on his way to potions.

I checked my watch in horror.

"Guys, we need to leave! Slughorn is going to kill us!"

"Not me." Harry said mischievously. I only glared at him and got up to start my school day.

—

The day had been really great. After our last lesson we all went to the lake for a bit before getting comfortable in the common room together.

I was now sitting in my quiet corner in the library, having excused myself after dinner. I hadn't felt this good for so long. I hadn't really felt anything the last few days.

Well, except for last night.

I let my mind wander back to the kiss. I still couldn't believe this had really happened.

"Dreaming of me?" Malfoy leaned on a nearby shelf, smirking at me again.

I blushed a bright red but still managed to scoff.

"Of course not!"

His looked at me amused and pushed himself off the shelf. Why did he look so good doing something mundane as that? I shook my head, to get these thoughts away.

He sat down across from me.

"You look better." His look went from playful to serious so fast.

"I do feel better." The smirk returned.

"Not because of that!" I let out an exasperated sigh.

"Of course not." He mocked me.

"Did you want anything?"

"What? Is it not enough that I maybe just wanted to see you?" He held his heart, playing hurt.

I looked at him expectingly.

"I just saw you sitting here and thought maybe we could talk about what happened last night."

I nodded hesitantly, not sure what to make of this.

"Look, I suppose you are just as confused as I am, so I just wanted to clear the air. Wouldn't want it to be awkward between us." At that he winked.

"Sure, because it's always been so pleasant between the two of us."

"Exactly."

"Malfoy."

"Granger." He still had his mocking tone.

"I- I just really don't know what to make of last night. We don't particularly like each other. But…"

"But we enjoyed kissing each other." I nodded, blushing again.

"Well, maybe you are tired of Potty and Weasel. Maybe you wanted a real man."

"Maybe." Now it was my time to smirk. "But what would you want with a… With someone like me?"

He looked at me questioningly. All mockery gone from his posture.

"Maybe I don't care about these things anymore?" He seemed serious. Though it was hard to believe. He couldn't have changed this much in such a short time, could he?

It took me sometime to ponder his answer.

"Maybe you don't."

His eyes had dropped to the table while I had been thinking but at my response they shot back up.

"You believe me?" His eyes now were wide. Unbelieving.

"Well…You have been different. Towards me that is. Don't think I didn't see you with those first years…And you haven't given me any reason to doubt you these past weeks."

He looked at me as if I had grown two more heads.

"Don't get me wrong. I don't trust you or anything. But I believe you when you say that you have changed."

"Thank you." His response surprised me. He seemed so genuine.

"Sure." I smiled at him. A real smile. And he responded with a smile that was just as real.

What was I doing? Just when everything got better I go and danger it all by having a civil conversation. More than civil. Well, at least we aren't snogging. I glanced down at his lips.

They looked so soft and pink. I remembered how good they felt on mine and…

No, stop it.

My face had turned beet red again.

I looked up again and found his eyes. They had slightly darkened. His face was almost as red as mine.

Maybe he had been thinking the same as I.

I laughed softly.

"This is all really strange!"

He joined my laugh. "It is."

He got up. "I guess, I'll leave you to your studies again. I will see you around?"

I nodded. "Good night."

"Good night."

I was in trouble. Big trouble.


End file.
